Oh, Onion writers, you are so full of funny!

Dear reader, enjoy these two old, uh, “news” stories first:

It’s Not Nice To Be Smarter Than Other People

Nation Afraid To Admit 9-Year-Old Disabled Poet Really Bad

Do you change what you say to others because of:

• fear?
• anger?
• peer pressure?
• pressure from your boss?
• their inability to understand?
• the fact that you want to play a joke on them?
• the fact that you believe the rumors about them?
• the fact that they helped you once?
• your best friend’s opinion of them?
• desire for friendship?
• desire for love?

Do your characters? Shouldn’t they?